When I first started in my field a mother came into my office with her four year old son. Her own mother had just died after a long illness, and she was struggling with how to get him to understand she had died. She looked at me and said, “I told him Grammy went to sleep and is not coming back and now he’s terrified of bedtime.” She meant well. We all do. However, when it comes to explaining death to children, the words we choose matter a lot.

As adults, we are often tempted to soften the blow with phrases like “passed away,” “gone to a better place,” or “went to sleep.” These expressions may feel gentle to us, but for young minds still learning how the world works, they can create confusion, fear, and misunderstanding. So today, I want to talk honestly and gently about what words to use when explaining death to kids and how to do it in a way that’s clear, kind, and developmentally appropriate.

Be Direct: Use the Words “Died” and “Dead” Children need clarity not metaphors.

Say: “Grandpa died. That means his body stopped working and he isn’t alive anymore.”

Avoid: “Grandpa passed,” “He went to sleep,” or “He’s in a better place.”

These phrases, while well-meaning, can lead to fear of sleeping, worry that someone else will “go away,” or a belief that death is temporary.

Trying something new? Whether it's starting a job, going to a social event, or simply stepping outside of your routine can make anxiety show up fast.

If you've ever felt your heart race, your stomach tighten, or your mind fill with "what ifs" in unfamiliar situations, you're not alone. At A New Start Counseling, we want you to know that this is a normal response, and we’re here to help you navigate it with care and confidence.

Anxiety Is a Natural Response — But It Doesn’t Have to Take Over

Anxiety is your body’s way of saying, “This is new. I’m checking it out to make sure we’re safe.” It’s part of your internal safety system, designed to help you respond to change or uncertainty.

The good news? Once your brain and body recognize that the new experience is safe, the anxiety begins to fade — and with time and practice, those situations become easier.

How Therapy Helps You Build Confidence in New Situations

One of the most effective tools we use in therapy is graded exposure — a gentle, step-by-step process where we gradually help you face the things that cause anxiety, starting small and building at a pace that feels manageable.

I remember a father once sitting across from me in the therapy room, nervously wringing his hands. His daughter had just lost her grandmother, the woman who baked cookies every Sunday, who took her to church and who tucked her in when he had to work late. Now she was gone. “She keeps asking when Grandma is coming back,” he whispered, eyes wide with worry. “What do I say? I don’t want to scare her.” It’s a question I’ve been asked more times than I can count.

How do you explain death to a child?

The truth is, it’s never easy. But it’s incredibly important. Children deserve honest, loving guidance to help them understand what death means because if we don’t help them make sense of it, their minds will try to fill in the blanks on their own, often in ways that are scarier or more confusing than the truth.

So let’s talk about how to do this gently, clearly, and with the compassion your child needs.

Be Honest and Direct

Children need concrete explanations. Use words like “dead” and “died,” even if they feel uncomfortable at first. Avoid euphemisms like “passed away,” “went to sleep,” or “gone to a better place.” While well-intentioned, these phrases can confuse or frighten children—especially younger ones who take language literally.

When we’re depressed, it’s common to pull back from the people, places, and activities that once brought us joy. We stop texting back. We cancel plans. We lose motivation for things we used to love — and over time, life can start to feel smaller, lonelier, and harder to re-engage with.

At A New Start Counseling, we want you to know: you don’t have to stay stuck, and we’re here to help.

Depression Can Shift — And So Can You

Depression often tells us to shut down. It convinces us that we don’t have the energy, that we won’t enjoy it anyway, or that we just need to lie low until we feel “better.” But the truth is, waiting to feel motivated before engaging in life again can keep us in the cycle of depression. That’s where behavioral activation can make a powerful difference.

What Is Behavioral Activation?

Behavioral activation is a therapy-based approach that helps people slowly and intentionally reintroduce meaningful activities back into their lives. These activities don’t have to be big or overwhelming — they might be as simple as taking a short walk, calling a friend, playing music, or watering a plant. The goal is to gently reconnect with the parts of life that depression has pulled you away from — step by step, and at your own pace.

I’ll never forget the day they walked into my office—a quiet, wide-eyed six-year-old, barely clinging to the edges of their world after losing a parent. It was their first time in therapy.
They didn’t know what to say. Honestly, they didn’t say much at all. Their little body seemed to carry the full weight of their loss, and the silence between us was heavy. They weren’t just mourning the death of a parent. They were mourning the loss of everything that once made life feel safe. Their world had been rearranged overnight: A new home. A new bed. A new school, a new routine, a new person making their breakfast. Even the snacks were different.

That’s the thing about grief; especially for children; It doesn’t just take a loved one. It steals familiarity. It rewrites the rules of everyday life, and it can leave a child feeling completely untethered. In those early sessions, this little one hardly spoke. They were shut down, not because they didn’t care but because they didn’t know how to start. The grief had frozen their voice and their life. It took months of slow, steady work. Social stories, daily routines, gentle praise, and a whole lot of patience. We had to build a bridge between their old life and this new, unfamiliar world.

Depression can be difficult. It doesn’t always look the same, and it certainly doesn’t feel the same for everyone. Some days, it may feel like a fog you can’t shake. Other days, it might show up as irritability, exhaustion, or even disconnection from people and things you once loved. What can be even more confusing is not always knowing why you feel this way.

If this sounds familiar, please know you’re not alone.

As a licensed mental health clinician, we work with many individuals who are navigating the ups and downs of depression. One important thing to remember is this: your depression can shift. The way you’re feeling now is not how you’ll feel forever and support is available, even from the comfort of your own home.

Why Am I Feeling This Way?

Depression often leads us into different emotional states. One day you might feel sad and hopeless; another day you might feel numb or unusually angry. It’s common to feel confused or stuck, wondering, “Why am I like this?” That’s where therapy can be incredibly helpful.

Working with a therapist can help you explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in a safe and supportive environment. Often, we uncover deeply rooted beliefs, ones that we’ve held onto for years, that can keep us feeling trapped in cycles of low mood or self-doubt.

Isabella is a young girl whose family has a traumatic event happen. Isabella struggles to feel better on her own after the loss and trauma. Her parents take her to meet with a mental health counselor, Ms. Vanessa, to work on regaining a sense of mental wellness. Isabella participates in sessions and learns different skills to help her feel better.

“The terrible , super sad day” is a heartfelt and inspiring story of resilience and recovery. After a traumatic event shakes her world, young Isabella is left struggling to cope with the weight of loss and emotional pain. Unable to feel better on her own, her parents take her to see Ms. Vanessa, a compassionate mental health counselor, who helps Isabella navigate the storm of her emotions.

Through thoughtful therapy sessions, Isabella learns practical coping skills, emotional resilience, and the importance of mental wellness. As she works through her grief and begins to regain a sense of inner strength, Isabella discovers that healing is a journey—one filled with challenges, but also with hope and transformation.

This powerful book not only explores the emotional struggles that many children face after a traumatic event but also offers a positive message of recovery and self-empowerment. Perfect for young readers and families seeking to understand mental health, "Isabella's Journey" is a touching reminder that, no matter how difficult the road may seem, healing is possible with support, courage, and the right tools.