I remember sitting across from a young child, no older than seven, as they clutched a crayon-drawn picture of their loved one who had passed. It was their way of holding on, of saying, “He mattered.” Grief in children often shows up like this, not in words, but in colors, drawings, rituals, and small acts of remembrance. When a child loses someone they love like a parent, grandparent, sibling, or close friend the world shifts beneath them. Routines change. Familiar voices disappear. Life suddenly feels unstable. While we can’t erase their pain, we can offer them tools to hold onto connection, express their emotions, and begin healing.

Memorial activities, especially those designed with children in mind, can become a powerful bridge between what was and what now is. They help children make sense of what’s happened in age-appropriate ways, while also providing emotional safety and a sense of agency. These activities don’t need to be grand or complex. In fact, the most meaningful ones are often simple, symbolic, and full of love.

Including children in the grieving process, whether through rituals, creativity, or storytelling, gives them a sense of control when everything else feels uncertain. Children want to feel connected. They want to understand. And they want to be included. Creating space for child-friendly memorials allows them to do all three.

One of the gentlest ways to begin is with a memory box or memory book. Invite the child to decorate it however they’d like. They can fill it with photographs, drawings, letters, or small keepsakes that remind them of the person who died. There’s no right or wrong way to do it only what feels meaningful. For many children, the act of touching these items, seeing them, and returning to them over time becomes a comforting ritual.

Another beautiful and symbolic act is planting a tree or flower in memory of the loved one. Children can help choose the plant, dig the soil, and visit it as it grows. It becomes a living reminder that love continues—that even in grief, there is still life and growth.

Some families find comfort in releasing balloons or butterflies, letting go of messages or wishes written on slips of paper. These ceremonies, when done intentionally, can help children say goodbye in a way that feels concrete and expressive. The act of releasing becomes symbolic of love carried into the world, unseen but deeply felt.

For more tactile or craft-loving children, creating a memory chain out of colorful paper strips, each one labeled with a memory, message, or feeling—can offer both creativity and comfort. The chain can grow over time and be displayed in a bedroom, around a photograph, or on a memorial table.

Some children find solace in something they can hold close. Beaded bracelets or lockets with tiny photos or symbolic charms can act as “lockets of love”—a physical connection to the person they’re missing. These are especially helpful for anxious children who want something nearby to remind them of that person’s presence.

There’s also the quiet, ongoing comfort of a memory jar. This simple practice invites children to write down memories, thoughts, or feelings on small pieces of paper and place them in the jar whenever they feel moved to. These can be read together during difficult days or special anniversaries, providing connection even in the absence.

One powerful way to honor a loved one over time is by creating a time capsule. Children can gather mementos, letters, or photos and seal them inside a box to be opened later—a year, five years, or even ten. This becomes a ritual of both remembrance and hope, a way to witness growth and change.

Painting memory rocks, decorating garden tiles, or creating wind chimes using special items are also gentle, grounding activities. Placing them in a backyard, memory corner, or favorite place can create a tangible memorial space that feels personal and sacred.

Sometimes, the best way for a child to express their feelings is through imagination. Drawing a “Grief Creature”—a character that holds their sadness, anger, or fear—can help them externalize their emotions. Giving the creature a name, a story, and even superpowers makes grief less overwhelming and more manageable.

Even food can become a powerful memorial. Cooking a loved one’s favorite meal together and adding it to a family recipe book helps children stay connected through taste, tradition, and storytelling.

Incorporating remembrance into anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays can also be incredibly healing. Lighting a candle, looking at photos, watching old videos, or sharing stories together turns painful dates into opportunities for connection. It reminds children that it’s okay to remember—and that remembering is a way of continuing love.

But not all memorials happen in person. When children can’t attend a funeral due to distance or age, virtual memorials offer a way to participate. Let them draw a picture or write a message to be shared during the service. Lighting a candle together at home while watching online can create a shared sense of space and connection. Involving them in even small ways helps reduce confusion and feelings of exclusion.

Whatever the activity, what matters most is how we do it. Children need to feel included, heard, and validated. Ask them what they’d like to do. Let them take the lead when they’re ready. Keep it simple, clear, and developmentally appropriate. A preschooler might prefer a drawing or memory rock. An older child might want to journal, create a playlist of songs, or write a letter.

Be mindful of language, too. Avoid phrases like “went to sleep” or “passed away,” which can be confusing or even frightening for children. Instead, say clearly, “She died. Her body stopped working, and she won’t be coming back.” This kind of honesty, delivered gently, builds trust and helps children make sense of the loss.

Children’s grief often shows up in behavior rather than words—through clinginess, sleep changes, regression, irritability, or big emotions. These are all signs that their little hearts are trying to understand a big loss. When we respond with compassion, consistency, and patience, we create the safety they need to begin healing.

Books can also open doors. Stories like The Terrible, Super Sad Day offer children a way to understand their feelings through characters and play. Reading together allows for questions, reflection, and emotional expression in a safe, contained way.

Above all, remember this: grief is not something to fix, it’s something to walk through. What children need most isn’t perfection. Its presence. Our steady, loving presence, again and again, through their tears, their silences, their play, and their questions.

Because love doesn’t end when someone dies. It changes form, yes, but it continues.

And through memory, ritual, creativity, and connection, children can begin to understand that while their world has changed, they are not alone in it.

Not now. Not ever.