We all expect grief to ebb and flow. A child may weep today, laugh at a memory tomorrow, and feel calm for weeks before sadness resurfaces. That’s normal. But sometimes, grief doesn’t loosen its hold, especially in children, where the markers of healing can look different than in adults. Learning to recognize when grief becomes prolonged, turning into a pattern that interferes with daily life—is an important step in guiding a child toward healing.

What Is Prolonged Grief in Children?

Also known as complicated grief, prolonged grief occurs when a child remains deeply stuck in their grief for many months, often beyond six months, without signs of gradual movement toward acceptance or reconnection with life. This isn’t about forgetting the person who died; it’s about a child’s difficulty engaging with the present or having hope for the future.

Clinical guidelines such as the DSM‑5‑TR now include Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD), recognizing that when grief persists in a distressing and disabling way, children need extra, compassionate support.

Signs That Grief May Be Prolonged

Look for patterns over time—especially when grief seems to prevent healing, rather than being part of it:

• Persistent, intense longing or yearning that dominates thoughts

• Difficulty accepting the death or persistent disbelief

• Emotional numbness or detachment from loved ones or activities

• Sharp declines in school performance, concentration, or social engagement

• Anger, bitterness, or pervasive sadness without reprieve

• Expressions of hopelessness or belief in a bleak future

When to Seek Support

If your child is grappling with grief that:

• Persists beyond six months without signs of gradual improvement,

• Is interfering with school, friendships, or daily routines,

• Or is accompanied by thoughts of wanting to join the person who died—

…then it may be time to consider professional help.

Psychotherapy approaches such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Prolonged Grief Therapy have strong evidence for helping youth navigate complicated grief. Working with a therapist gives your child a safe space to process emotion, learn coping skills, and re-engage with life.

Supporting a Child in Deep Grief

While professional support is vital, your daily presence remains crucial. Continue offering:

• Consistent emotional safety and gentle reassurance

• Validation of grief—“I see how much this still hurts you” is more powerful than “You need to get over this”

• Opportunities for hope and healing—small rituals, shared memories, and honest conversation

• Storytelling that mirrors their grief journey. The Terrible, Super Sad Day remains a meaningful way to normalize how grief shows up and remind them they are not alone.

Healing is Not Forgetting

Recognizing prolonged grief isn’t about pathologizing a child’s love or loyalty—it’s about acknowledging that grief sometimes overwhelms coping. When a child's grief is limiting their life, that is not the grief's fault—it’s an invitation for deeper care.

With understanding, guidance, and therapy, children can find a way back to life’s colors—and keep the memory of their loved one holding them rather than hurting them.