When a child loses someone they love, they may feel left out of the grieving process—especially when traditional funerals or memorials are geared toward adults. But including children in memorial rituals can help them feel connected, comforted, and validated in their grief.

Memorial activities designed for kids offer tangible ways to process loss, keep memories alive, and make sense of a confusing experience. These child-friendly rituals can take place at a formal service, at home, or even virtually, and they allow children to say goodbye in ways that are emotionally appropriate and meaningful.

Why Memorials Matter for Grieving Children

Memorials give children something concrete to hold onto during a time of emotional uncertainty. While they may not fully grasp the finality of death, they can still understand the importance of honoring someone they love. Whether it's planting a tree, making a memory box, or lighting a candle, these acts provide structure and symbolism that help children express grief, remember the person who died, and feel supported by those around them.

Meaningful Ways to Involve Children in MemorialsMemory Box or Memory Jar

Invite the child to decorate a special box or jar and fill it with:

• Photos or drawings of the person

• Notes about things they remember or miss

• Small keepsakes or symbols

This becomes a personal, private way to keep the connection alive.

Plant Something Living

• Plant a flower, tree, or even a small garden in memory of the person.

• Visit it often to talk about them or simply spend quiet time nearby.

This can represent life continuing, even in the face of loss.

Create a Memory Chain

Write down special memories, messages, or emotions on strips of paper and link them into a chain. You can add to it over time and hang it somewhere meaningful.

Make a Memorial Craft

• Beaded Memory Bracelet: Use colors that represent different emotions or memories.

• Painted Rocks: Decorate with symbols or words that represent your loved one and place them in a garden.

• Remembrance Ornament or Ball: Fill a clear ornament with ribbon, notes, or photos.

Crafts give children something physical to hold and display—a comforting reminder that their person is not forgotten.

Memorial Rituals and GatheringsPlan a Special Day

On a birthday, anniversary, or holiday, plan a small gathering that honors the person who died. Include:

• Story sharing

• A favorite meal or recipe they loved

• Music they enjoyed

• A quiet candle-lighting moment

Let the child help plan or choose what to include—they will feel more connected and empowered.

Virtual Memorials for Children

If a child can’t attend a funeral in person, consider creating a virtual space for them to participate:

• A Zoom call to share stories with family

• A private video message where they say goodbye

• An online slideshow of memories or photos

Virtual options still provide connection and community—especially during times of illness, travel restrictions, or other barriers.

Nature-Based and Long-Term MemorialsNature Walk or Collage

Take a walk in nature and gather items that remind the child of their loved one—leaves, stones, flowers. Use them to make a collage or memory board together.

Build a Fairy Garden or Memorial Space

Use small figurines, plants, and stones to build a peaceful space where the child can go when they want to remember.

Time and Memory Capsule

Help the child collect items, photos, letters, or small objects that represent their connection to the person. Seal it and choose a future date to open it—this gives them something to look forward to and revisit later in life.

Involving Children in the Funeral or Memorial Service

If you’re planning a more formal memorial, there are still ways children can participate:

• Light a candle

• Read a short message or poem

• Place a flower or photo in the casket or on a memorial table

• Share a drawing or artwork they created

If attending the service feels overwhelming, offer them the choice to participate in a smaller way or at a separate, private time.

A Story to Guide the Process

Reading together can help children explore grief in a safe, familiar way. The Terrible, Super Sad Day by Vanessa Valles, LCSW-S is a gentle, honest book that opens the door to important conversations about death and healing.

It’s especially helpful for:

• Introducing the concept of grief

• Exploring emotional responses

• Supporting child-friendly memorial rituals

After reading, you might ask:

• “Is there a way you’d like to remember them?”

• “What could we make or do to feel close to them again?”

These questions can lead naturally into memorial projects that support the child’s healing journey.

Final Thoughts

Child-friendly memorials are more than creative projects—they’re meaningful tools for helping children grieve with support, connection, and love. When children are invited to participate in rituals that honor someone they’ve lost, they’re reminded that their feelings are real, their memories matter, and they are not alone in their grief.

Looking for a resource to guide your child through grief?

The Terrible, Super Sad Day offers comfort and clarity through story, helping children—and caregivers—navigate the most difficult of days with honesty and hope.

To purchase The Terrible, Super Sad Day click here