Grief doesn’t only bring pain—it can also open pathways to growth, connection, and resilience. When children experience loss, helping them make meaning of what’s happened becomes essential not just for healing, but for weaving the loss into their life’s unfolding story. This process, known as meaning-making, invites children to discover purpose, remember what was lost, and find strength in the bonds that remain.
What is Meaning-Making?
Meaning-making is the process by which children and adults learn to understand and integrate a loss in a way that makes life feel bearable again. It’s a gentle journey from shock or confusion toward a deeper acknowledgement of what the loss represents, and how memories can shape who we become. Researchers call this the transition from sense-making (learning to understand what happened) to benefit-finding (finding new strengths or values born from loss).
The Role of Resilience in Healing
Resilience is not about “toughing it out.” It’s about adaptability and having the inner tools and external support systems to say, “This is hard, but I’m not alone, and I can find a way forward.” The resilience portfolio model highlights how meaning-making, emotional regulation, and supportive relationships all contribute to a child’s ability to adapt and heal.
How to Foster Meaning and Resilience in Children
Tell and Listen to Their Stories
Storytelling, whether drawing, conversation, or role-play can help children express their grief, understand it, and weave it into an ongoing narrative. Narrative practices support healing by giving grief a structure that children can explore and revisit when they need support.
Honor Their Memories Through Action
Creating memory spaces, like scrapbooks, social stories, or shared family rituals—gives grief a shape children can hold onto. It reminds them that the love they feel remains meaningful and alive.
Build on Strengths, Small and Large
Encourage emotional resilience by acknowledging when a child shows courage, maybe sharing a memory, returning to a routine, or comforting someone else. These small acts of strength honor both grief and growth.
Connect Family, Culture, and Community
A child’s understanding of grief often deepens when shared within a trusted circle, parents, grandparents, teachers, or friends—especially when activities are tied to culture or shared values. These connections reweave a sense of belonging and legacy.
Celebrate the Quiet Growth
Sometimes the most meaningful shifts are subtle, a child asking thoughtful questions, returning to favorite activities, or finding a touchstone of peace. These moments are markers of healing, not denial.
The Power of Story
Stories can carry grief tenderly. The Terrible, Super Sad Day was created to give children words when theirs may not be enough. Through relatable characters and honest emotion, it holds up a mirror to their pain and the strength that lies within. It encourages caregivers to say, “I see you. I’m here. You’re not alone.” Reading and discussing the story together becomes a gentle ritual of connection and understanding.
Looking for a resource to guide your child through grief?
The Terrible, Super Sad Day is a book that offers comfort and clarity through story, helping children and caregivers navigate the most difficult of days with honesty and hope.
Meaning-making and resilience-building are not once-off tasks—they unfold with time, memory, and care. By walking beside a child through grief, inviting reflection, honoring love, and holding hope, we help them build a foundation that carries their loss gently forward—and nurtures strength for the journey ahead. You can purchase your copy of The Terrible, Super Sad Day by Vanessa Valles, LCSW-S here!