When a child experiences the loss of someone they love, participating in memorial rituals can bring comfort, connection, and a sense of clarity. However, traditional funerals aren’t always designed with children in mind—leaving them unsure of how to be involved or how to process what’s happening. That’s where child-friendly memorial ideas come in. These thoughtful, age-appropriate activities help bridge that gap, giving children ways to express their grief, stay connected to the person they lost, and begin to heal. Tools like The Terrible, Super Sad Day by Vanessa Valles, LCSW-S, can support these moments by providing language, emotional validation, and an opportunity to open the door to difficult—but necessary—conversations. Through ritual, remembrance, and storytelling, we help children understand that their feelings matter and their memories are worth holding onto.
How to Involve a Child in a Funeral or Memorial
Inclusion fosters understanding. Whether attending in person or virtually, here are safe and age-appropriate ways to involve a child:
Let them choose a photo or drawing to place near the casket or altar
Give them a small job (handing out programs, placing flowers)
Explain the service clearly: “We will sing songs, hear stories, and say goodbye.”
Designate a comfort person to leave with the child if they need a break
Virtual Memorials for Children
If your child can’t attend in person, they can still feel involved with these virtual ideas:
Light a candle together during the online service
Read a goodbye letter out loud over Zoom
Draw a picture and show it on camera
Create a small home altar with photos, flowers, or keepsakes
Virtual memorials for children are especially helpful for long-distance families or when health concerns (like COVID-19) limit physical attendance.
Engaging Memorial Ideas for Kids
These creative activities help kids express themselves and preserve memories:
Memory Box or Book
Fill it with: Photos, drawings, or handwritten notes, Small personal items that belonged to the loved on, Letters from the child to the deceased
Planting a Tree or Flower
A simple yet symbolic way to watch something grow in their memory.
Balloon or Butterfly Release
A beautiful ritual to express feelings and say goodbye. Optional: attach notes or wishes.
Memory Paper Chain
Cut paper strips, write a memory on each one, and link them together. Hang it in the child’s room or memory space.
Beaded Memory Bracelet or Locket
Children can create something they can wear or carry as a tangible reminder.
Use Books to Support the Process
The Terrible, Super Sad Day by Vanessa Valles, LCSW-S is an ideal companion for these activities. This beautifully illustrated book:Helps kids identify and name their grief, Normalizes sadness, confusion, and big feeling, Creates a safe space for families to open conversations. You can use the book alongside memory-making activities to guide the child gently through the experience of loss.
Connection Heals
Memorializing doesn’t need to be formal or perfect. It just needs to be honest, child-centered, and rooted in love.
Whether it’s planting a tree, building a memory box, or reading The Terrible, Super Sad Day together, these moments tell a child:“You’re not alone. Your feelings matter. Love doesn’t end even when someone dies.”
Purchase The Terrible, Super Sad Day here